the dreaded positive

"well we made it to 2022 but Gage has a positive COVID test and I'm a presumptive positive. Cake is still asymptomatic."

covid finally made it to our house.

we avoided it for two years, but it's here.
we are feeling crappy, but vaccinated.

i am so grateful that my whole family, including my child, who is asymptomatic, is fully vaccinated, and that I was able to be boostered months ago.  Those who I know catching this variation are vaccinated, but it seems to be treating them all mildly, and that that seems to be the case for our household too.  I am trying to not let my underlying fears of the last two years, my catching covid means catching my death, overwhelm me.

i'm grateful we managed this long without catching it: during a deadlier strain, or earlier in the pandemic; before the vaccines, before the booster.  i'm grateful for the antibodies we now have that will hopefully keep us safe in the future.

we've been sleeping a lot.  gage had a fever for a few days.  we have terrible body aches, coughing, congestion--so much pressure in our faces.  nausea and vomiting for me for a few days.  I mean, I'm always nauseous, but it doesn't normally bring me to vomiting, that's a sign that i'm pretty sick, if it can't be managed with cannabis.  this woke me up in the middle of the night to puke.
​

i'm so relieved Cake is... fine.  we've kept her from school.  she's bored and anxious to go back, and the school told me she could because she's vaccinated and asymptomatic, but the idea of that sends alarm bells off all inside of me.  if we were another family... I would want us to keep her home.  to keep me safe.  after all... it was someone going to work when they shouldn't have that got Gage sick that got me sick.​

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gage was able to get my refill of my cymbalta (depression, anxiety, body pain).  he went in and asked for a same day refill.  they said they could not do a same day refill, but.. they did.

i've not been blogging; i posted a little to instagram, but i've been absent.  i was starting to feel ready to approach life again, but then we got sick.
back to rest, rest, rest, let the body rest.

my experience with mild covid is... it feels like me, on a normal day, but worse because i have a cough.  and worse because i already feel like me on a normal day, so it's exacerbated, noticeably sick.

just, tired.

I've been listening to a lot of audiobooks.  I like it.
the fact that I like it makes me feel guilty that I have been listening to them, which is silly.  People read books, listen to audiobooks, allow themselves to slip away from reality and enjoy their time spent relaxing.  rest, rest, rest.

i don't feel allowed to rest.
if i am listening, i could also be doing.
which is... destructive.  if i am listening, i am doing.  i can listen while resting.
listening is the active role.  

i dunno. 
​i'm tired and ready to go lay down again. 
actively listen to something.
or sleep.

be well, friends. 
​please, wear your masks.  get your vaccines.  get your booster.  stay home if you need to.

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